Trollwind Journal

This is my journal on the things that interest me the most, including books and writing, Scandinavian myth and web design. It has been neglected over the last several months, but that ends now. As I get back into the groove of writing fiction again, this will take on the intended role of a writing journal, marking my progress as I work through writing a novel.

Introducing Grum

February 24th, 2009 by Matthew

One of the problems I’ve had with working on my Flash skills outside of work is that I don’t have any graphic assets that are interesting to me to animate.  There are only so many different color balls that I can bounce around the screen or rotate.  Last week, I decided to change that.

I’ve been playing around with a character library for some Flash animations that I want to put together.  I’m only a few hours into making the library in Illustrator, but I’ve got one character fleshed out with some basic facial expressions.  In the next week I want to create a backdrop for a scene and some rudimentary arm and head movements.  So here is Grum:

Over the next couple of days, I’ll begin adding more views and maybe if I can find enough time this coming weekend to start animating.

Migration of the gods

February 3rd, 2009 by Matthew

I came across something during my research that I never really gave much thought to: the gods are effected as much by the environment as man is.   Now of course I’ve played with the ideas of local gods and wights stemming from the geography of a lake, treacherous cliffs or a volcano, but I didn’t think much on the main gods of a mythos being shaped quite as much by the movement of peoples.  They had their various functions and maybe a name change here and there, yet they stayed basically immutable until they were replaced new gods and forgotten.  Not so.

In Norway, for example, Odhinn was primarily the god of warriors and kings.  All of the royal dynasties could trace their lineages to the one-eyed god.  Iceland however was established by men and women who wanted to avoid the warmongering and absolute power of kings and established an early form of democracy where the land holders were the law makers.  Instead of being replaced, Odhinn was worshipped and respected as the god of poetry.  The god’s primary purpose changed to fit the needs of the men who valued eloquence and skill in argument as highly as bravery and skill in battle.

I don’t have as clear cut examples from the other two main gods, Thor and Tyr, just yet, or any goddesses just yet.  Tyr seems to be known primarily in Denmark and Germany, but not as well in the far north, while Thor is a relative late-comer, but spread out throughout Scandinavia as the god of the common man.

It obviously makes sense.  You can go to any church in the South and another in Northern California and come away with the impression that God is two completely different beings.

This regionality is definitely something that I could find myself integrating in my stories as I flesh out the world of Midgard in the coming months.

Tough times and highway robbery

February 3rd, 2009 by Matthew

I just found out this weekend that some of the larger web hosting companies (including Yahoo and Network Solutions) are hurting so bad that they have very quietly tripled their prices for web domains.  What costs most folks $10 a year, now costs $35 for their customers.

Now Yahoo reasons that they are providing extra services to go with domain registration that make the 350% increase in cost well worth the price and that the cost of setting up domain names has increased.  I’m sure it had nothing to do with Yahoo’s stock plummeting into the abyss.

Network Solutions, generally regarded as Satan amongst web providers (although Go Daddy seems to be challenging it dominion over evil), has long been accused of Front Running domain name costs, I don’t think can make the same claims about service and security since most of their sites keep going down because of DNS attacks.

In response, I have decided to leave the dark side and set up shop with a smaller, cheaper, and more reliable service.  Now it will only be a savings of $150 a year, but well worth it.  Sometime in february, I will be moving all of my data from Network Solutions to InMotion.  It may result in Trollwind.com and the Journal to be down for a day or two, but will improve performance in the long run.

Setting up the data

January 24th, 2009 by Matthew

It’s been a week since my last journal post – something I told myself I would not let happen.  I also have not written much prose either.  Some of it has been because I’ve been busy at work and putting in long hours.  Yet as I got more into my writing mode over the last few weeks, I realized that to get truly going I needed to put together the database structure for trollwind.com for my notes and research.

So I’ve been focusing my spare time on creating database tables and admin page views.  While I don’t have much to show for it on the front end of the site, there’s a lot going on behind the scenes.  I don’t plan on letting this writing and blogging hiatus last much beyond the weekend.

Confessions of a vampire player

January 18th, 2009 by Matthew

A strange thing I’ve noticed is that people over the age of 21-25 are generally reluctant to admit that they have (or currently) play role-playing games like Dungeons and Dragons.  It’s as if it is a guilty secret that is just as shameful as shoplifting or beating your dog.  It’s just not something you talk about.  However, whenever I mention that I used to play all the time when I was a teenager, there always seems to be one or two people who come up to me afterward and talk in hushed but excited tones about what they used to play and some of the cool things their characters did.  I become a walking confessional for role-players who seek not forgiveness for their sins, but validation that there are others out there, to be able to tell their stories without fear of laughter or name-calling, or, the worst of all, that blank scowl when someone is trying to determine if you are a dangerous crackpot or just sad.

Now I haven’t done any role-playing in years.  (There’s a 4th edition?)   Friends move away, and work and family takes up the time I used to spend playing around trying to create new worlds and characters… except for the fantasy fiction writing I do several hours every week.  Yet I somehow let myself get talked into running a game a couple of months ago.  Not wanting to go out and learn something completely new, I chose to go with a favorite game, Vampire the Requiem.

It seemed everyone had fun during the game even if some of us were falling asleep before 1am, so I decided to continue writing the “chronicle” (as it’s called in Vampire) and will be developing a new city setting.  As I flesh out the details, I will include them on my website for others to use should they so desire.

More on vampire in a couple of weeks.

Too specialized for the web

January 13th, 2009 by Matthew

Like many people, I’ve become incredibly reliant on the web for basic information and research.  While I have stacks and stacks of books, if knowledge is out there it must be on the internet, right?  Most of the time that is exactly the case… type in the the right search term in the Googles and the knowledge I seek is laid out before me.  It kind of makes the myths and legends of men and gods taking perilous journeys in to strange lands, sacrificing life and limb (or life and eye in Odhinn’s case) just for the opportunity to get a glimpse at knowledge ring a little hollow.

If the information I seek is not online, from the analysis of the writing of Gene Wolfe’s novels to the store hours of the local shoe store, from the chemical composition of dynamite to the calories in the apple fritter I just ate, I immediately begin to blame the people who are hording this information and think that they are too selfish, lazy, or ignorant to disseminate it to the whole world via the internet.

The more specific my research on Teutonic myth and history becomes, however; I am finding that less and less knowledge I seek is available online.  There is remarkably little that I have not read before or that sheds any light of what I am trying to do with my writing and general research.  That is one of the main reasons why I’m going to be putting together my site to put all the stuff that I spent my time researching.

It’s likely that few if anybody will be interested in a lot of what I plan on posting, but it’s my obligation to share.

Typing can be painful

January 11th, 2009 by Matthew

This morning, we went out to a gym in Concord that had rock walls for climbing.  It was the first time that I’ve ever done anything like it and it was quite an experience.  We went what is called bouldering… climbing up rock walls that are about 10 feet tall with various hand and foot-holds.  They also have the taller rock walls where the climber is supported with a rope and harness.

Now I’ve climbed rocks in natural environments, but nothing like these walls that go pretty much straight up… and I found that I am not so good at it.  I have no technique and primarily used my hands and arms to pull myself up the rock instead of my legs.  When I tried to use my legs, I usually ended up pushing my body out instead of up so that I would swing about like a broken window shutter in a storm. (It’s a technique call barn-dooring, and it’s not one that you want to brag about at the gym)  So not only was I only did I have difficulty getting to the top on the easiest climbs, but I’ve completely wrecked my fingers, hands, and arms.

Typing this blog post is distracting because I can feel every tendon and muscle moving in my arms with a decent amount of discomfort.  It should be quite interesting come tomorrow morning when the soreness has really set in and I sit down to my writing.

Balancing the work

January 8th, 2009 by Matthew

Eventually, I’d like to get to a point where I can write pretty much full-time, augmenting my fiction with various articles or vice-versa.  However, I don’t really want to give up my design and Flash work completely.  There’s just too much interest and investment there to drop it.

I guess my ideal career would consist of me writing fiction for most of my time and then creating accompanying web sites and Flash applications to provide additional backstory, show the revision process and to help make the fictional world deeper for those readers interested in multimedia.  That is my goal with Trollwind.com once I get it going.

What I’ve been fighting with since the beginning of the year is: how much of my “spare” time do I devote to each endeavor?

Part of me says to focus on the fiction writing, because even though it is a slow and steady course, it’s what stirs me the most; another part of me says to start writing articles and non-fiction to begin a speedier transition into a writing career; while yet another part of me says to focus on the potentially more lucrative work of Flash development so that I can work less and spend more of my free time writing.

I have been edging toward the first option so far this year, because I think my passion for the writing will help to keep me motivated.  The only fear is that without having the solid progress of a completed task (for a novel is a long-term undertaking that I’ve been trying at for a decade), I will become discouraged in the future.

I’ll track my progress and thought process in future posts as I go through the next few months.  Until then, I’ll keep on writing.

An excerpt: the open sky

January 6th, 2009 by Matthew

Here is a short excerpt of the first draft I’ve been writing on:

We lay down with our rolls as close to the fire as we could, watching the oily smoke and red cinders fly up into a vast and clear sky, leaving a dark blot before the god’s road, Bifrost.

I had never seen the heavens like this before, where there were no trees or hills to shield us.  It stretched from the Jotunheimar in the east to misty waters in the west with no break but our feeble fire.  We were small and exposed babes before a cold and terrible giant.

For the first time, I truly realized that I could never return home.  Gone foverer was the safety of Fainnvidh’s old willows and trickling streams.  I fear I would have fled down the crest, had shame not stayed me.  I knew Thor had none of the thoughts.  I think he knew no fear.

“When the gods and the dwarf-smiths first placed the stars and the heavenly vault in the sky, all was still.  Giants and trolls ruled Midgardh back then, for Odhinn and his brothers had not yet come to breathe life into Askr and Embla and create the race of man.  The nine worlds were filled with chaos, much worse than the nights we know.  There were no seasons, there was no day nor night, just savage wights devouring one another.

“Tyr, who ruled the Aesir before Odhinn, sought to create order in the nine worlds, like they knew in Asgardh and Vanaheim.  He bid gods to rule the sky, the earth, and even the wild seas.  He sent the old gods Dag and Nott to divide the day from night and had the alf-smiths forge the chariots and sky roads that would carry the Sun and Moon high above.

“The tale says that Tyr’s wife was of the Vanir, though her name is now forgotten.  He had accomplished so much with the help of the joined resolve of the Aesir, the Vanir, the alfar, and the dvergar – as the dwarfs were known back then – but he was not satisfied, for though time and the world had been meted out, Midgardh was still a dangerous and terrible place, and even the gods dared not wander out of their realms without an army behind them.

“One night, Tyr was thinking on his troubles while his wife was spinning.  He sat in silence watching the spinning of her distaff all night until the idea came to him.  He ran off and woke the wisest of the dwarf- and alf-smiths and bade them construct a great pillar, hight the Irminsul.  It stands as tall as the world tree itself and was placed in the heart of a wood somewhere in the realm now known as Svidhjod.

“Then Tyr sent the heavens slowly spinning on the Irminsul’s spear-like head, just as it does tonight.  It was such a terrible sight to behold that the Jotunn and the Thursir, the troubled dead and the evil spirits, the dokkalfar and the svartalfar, and all wights not friendly to the gods fled from the wide open spaces into the shadow-filled caves and forests.  That is why evil lurks in the dark corners of the world.”

I stopped and stared into the sky, oddly comforted by the tale, remembering that the heavens were created by the gods of order and justice to make Midgardh safe.  I tried not to think of how many tales I’ve heard of wights fell and unknown slipping out from the shadows into the world and hearts of men over the last few winters.  I was doing well before Thor, who I thought was either asleep or ignoring me, spoke a few moments later.  His voice was as cold and unfeeling as the night sky.

“Not all evil,” was all he said.

I did not go to sleep for a long time.

I’ll try to keep to update these excerpts periodically as I make my way through the novel.

Winding down is hard to do

January 5th, 2009 by Matthew

Like so many other people, I have set several daily goals for myself at the beginning of the year.  Some are small, like remembering to take my vitamins or to bring my lunch to work or to avoid drinking soda.  Others are a little more intensive like writing 500 words a day and exercising daily.  I’ve got two writing goals – 500 words on my novel or fiction, and to blog every day.

To write fiction, I’ve made sure that I get up at 5:15ish and try to be out the door not long after 6:00 (but it seems to be 6:30 more often than not).  It is nice to be able to go through and work with no other cares in the world, to just imagine the world that I am creating.  Once it is time to go to work, I reluctantly find a stopping point and head out, often not thinking much about it until I sit back down to write.

To blog, it was my goal to do it before bed at night once I’ve had an opportunity to calm down from my day.  I’m finding this is easier said than done.  I spend my whole day after I stop writing on my novel, thinking about work or all those things that I have to get done.  There are always too many projects that we’re behind on that I’m responsible for.

Getting home is not much of a mental respite.  It’s all about playing with the dog, spending some time with the wife (usually talking about our work days), cooking dinner, exercising and cleaning up before bed.  When I sit down to write, I’ve got so much of my day going through my head, that I don’t even know where to start.  The last thing I want to write about is work related stuff, but it seems to be all that I can think about.

I think as I get into the habit of writing, I need to make time during the day to sit down and just brainstorm some ideas.  Nothing formal, just twenty minutes of letting my mind wander and directing it down a path that is not work related.  Perhaps with time it will become easier to wind down and let go.

Otherwise, my brainstorming is just one more thing on my list to do.